DIGABLE UNDRGRND

http://www.stevecarter.com/albumcovers.htm

LOL!!!!!!

best part hits after 2:15 ghostface then roots then yea... ill

....

could be here n gone the next....

FUCK YEA! SOMETHING TO MAKE MY LIFE A LIL BIT MORE MAGICAL!

SETH MCFARLEN IS A GOD SEND...

life in the slow lane... livin check to check mayn...

hmmmm.... last night.......................... yea........ :)

sooo its been a while since i last wrote nething in here... its been a while since anyone has really written anything of worth in here. its 5:55 am and i dont know why i just felt like writing. i guess maybe a moment of clarity in my morning solitude. this isnt a blog that im going to waste spilling my feelings and pity myself because i dont, but more of a way to vent.

lately it seems i've been caught up in trying to hang out w/ people, always looking for something to do in this abundance of free time thats on my hands. i guess i realized that i've been putting a lot of hours kickin it and not enough time looking for a job. i know that everyone goes through that "in between" period, but i feel thats just another excuse for me to delay my employment. maybe i will ask ryman for a job. i just need something so i can just start reacquainting myself w/ an old friend ms. mary jane. oh the carelessness and bliss you provide mary jane, i miss you.

speaking of friends, i feel that i havent made any friends worth while. not saying that all my recently acquainted friends i've made aren't worth anything. they all have a purpose and all provide me w/ a comfort of some sort, but i've come to realize that i havent made any real friends that i've made some sort of true bond w/.

another thing i feel i've lost touch with is music and my more culturally connected side. i've been so caught up listening to club music and the radio that i cant even listen to some REAL hip hop. maybe because real hip hop lyrics and beats have real meaning behind them, i just try to avoid it all to prevent myself from being emo. maybe this new chapter in my life doesnt need hip hop. for some reason it reminds me of when i was at my lowest. now that it hasnt been present in this "carefree" time in my life, maybe i feel that it'll bring me down from this high. i mean i miss it a lot but i feel that the spark is no longer there, kinna like wen u just stop talking to that girl you've been talking to and it hasnt gone anywhere, but still meant something in your life. i dont know if any of that makes sense... haha

speaking of girls you talk to... i guess for me its all the same situation... still wishing for the girls i like to like me back, and being of unsure of the girls that do like me... maybe its me looking for comfort in someone that fills that empty void. i know it is kind of satisfying to have someone, but i just hope that i can keep true to myself and not give in to just being lonely. i still need that quality partner, not the partner of necessity. i wish it were easier, but hey thats the breaks... cant complain but cant be cheery either.

well i can go on and on and on... buuuuut it is 6:13 in the morning and my space bare is squeaking and is gettin annoying... also my dad just got home from work... blah insomnia... although i know no one will bother reading this i hope someone will and it rekindles some sort of communication with those whom ive lost touch with... and provides insight to what my lifes been lately.

well to all my friends out there please update ur LJs cuz it gives me one more thing to be updated on every day... we've all gone our separate ways n as each day passes we end up drifting farther apart doing our own thing...

so im kind of in a dilemma i bought 3 tickets for the kanye west show... i am looking for someone to buy the 3rd... problem is i cant really sell a single one online or to a stranger because no one goes to a show by themselves... the other thing thats bothering me is that me n brother are going... i dont want to bring someone that would feel awkward going w/ me n my bro. the other thing is i dont want to be bored either... i dont want to go w/ my bro n one of his friends... GAHDAMMIT I WISH I NEVER BOUGHT THAT 3rd TICKET!!!!

damn tonight was pretty coo... t minus 2 hours and 23 minutes before i have to wake up n get ready for work... but it was all worth it... tonight i felt like someone else... not shy and not a wallflower... i thought i would feel old going to this 18+ party but it wasnt that bad... i used to kick it w/ the older cats in davis back then n now i guess im that guy... so it must be my time to scheme n live it up... it was fun dancing all night long... knowing i can dance better than half the niggas in there... it was also dope knowing that i had bros all around me that would have my back no matter what the fuck goes down...

real talk it was good dancing w/ beezies n breakin off beezies... hmmm i cant remember the last time i felt like that in a club... not trying to act cool but being myself... and in reality i guess knowing that I AM THA SHIT! or for self-esteem purposes believing so... haha well it was a good night hopefully itll be a good weekend since mine started tonight i guess imma be stupid burnt out by sunday....

well signing off... ur good friend that nigga erickson, bootch!

So yea i went to check out this muy thai kickboxing class... it was hella interesting... something i can get into and now im really contemplating on whether i should take the class. it costs about 300 but i heard thats a good price for a 3 month contract.

i think its a good opportunity for some change, a good way to stop being fat and lazy, but at the same time can fuck up my career hunt and put a dent in my wallet. its a tough decision but whatever i need some spontaneity in my life and something to relieve some stress.

hopefully at the end ill be a sexy, ass kickin muy thai kick boxin machine.

hmmm i smell like fiona before i gave her a bath... n now shes soo fresh n clean... as for me... i smell like shit

so the other night i had a weird dream. from what i can remember i remember a car crashing into a motorcycle in the middle of a rainy gray and empty intersection. it was weird cuz i didnt care about it i felt the panic n whatnot but didnt bother to check the scene or anything. from that point the dream switches and it goes to me having to adopt a daughter. well it wasnt really adopting as the child was given to me after she had lost her parents, which would be some close friend. the parents didnt die or anything they just weren't there. i tried my hardest to take care of the girl, not cuz i had to but out of genuine love for the child, but my atempts failed and there was nothing i could do to keep her happy.

from the dream i realized that being a parent is extremely difficult. i guess it was somehow foreshadowing the day that followed. after walking fiona and having a successful shit walk i thought it was all good, but a few hours pass and i find that she shitted in her cage, and on top of that she threw up. i guess it was from the chew bone she ate the night before. well from there i ended up having to clean the garage, clean fiona, take a second bath, and also changing up my plans to go out for the night.

skittles at it again!




i swear these guys get high n their favorite munchies are skittles

HAHAHA WHY!?!?!? now THAT is a real man's gun. as a reply to jacobs gun entry here is what i think is a gun that is from a terminator movie!









crazy fuckin japs!

so yea i been meaning to read neil strauss' book but havent probably because i wasnt really interested too much, but just recently i decided i want to give it a whirl. im not joining a bandwagon just because everyone in our circle is talking about it, but ive decided to read it because of the videos i saw on his myspace. theyre good videos and good demonstrations of what the book offers. also, the real thing that pulled me in was neil strauss himself and his nose rape video. this guy seems hella coo like someone we could all kick it w/. here is his nose rape video and the episodes of the game.


Noserape, Episode 3

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hmmm damn another day of nothingness. i need to get some shit done hahaha. playing COD was coo today playing with PAIN is always fun. erich came on live today which was coo.

today i asked michelle "i wonder what the world would be if America was never discovered by Europeans".
it was a random thought that turned into something hilarious hahahaha.

E: i wonder what the world would be if america was never discovered by europeans, you know like if America was just a big ass country of native americans. i wonder what they would invent???

M: it would be hella stupid we'd just have casinos everywhere. damn indian gaming.

E: stoooooopid. they only have that shit cuz theyre people dont have shit they had to invent that shit or else they wouldnt have anything at all.

M: well it would be gay cuz theyre too peaceful. they wouldnt fight anyone. what would they do if they got attacked by another country? what, they would jes talk shit out?

E: HAHAHAHA! oh yea right. I HATE YOU NATIVE AMERICANS CUZ YOU DONT WANNA FIGHT US. QUIT BEING PEACEFUL U STOOPID BITCHES (i say sarcastically) HAHAHA!

haha good convo michelle rocks. shes such a dork. thanks for the jump tho.


well its another 5 o'clock or i mean 6 o'clock morning... its the 3rd fuckin night in a row of early morning sleep. i need some responsibilities to keep me busy or i'll be stuck in this damn cycle. i promise PRODUCTIVENESS!

today was a good day call of duty, not leaving the house, and then poker. it feels good not to do anything even though i know i should really make an effort to look for a job. i need to handle a lot of stuff. its 5 in the morning and i have insomnia i hope that i can have a normal sleeping pattern. no matter how late i sleep i can never end up sleeping past 1 pm. thats still late but whatever.

poker losses at 9 dollars so far. its not bad but its not good either. hmm i cant wait for a job. ill miss being young and ill always look back on what made me who i am but i gotta know that i can only live in the present n not dwell on the past. whats done is done and what will be will be... que sera sera haha

well imma try n sleep damn its rainin crazy outside right now wind beating on my window and the rain drops sound harsh...

well take care mah ninjas n poker again soon?

raiiiiny dayys keepin tha suuun a way
in tha room playin some SEEE-OHHH-DEEE
can you tell me how to get
how to get a 30 kill streeeak!!!!

so yea christmas as well as the other holidays have been getting a lil bit less extravagant. the celebration of the holidays havent been the same as they were years ago. the tingly warm fuzzy feeling of the holidays has turned into just a bland routine of going out of town to see family that i barely end up interacting with.

personally i blame it all on the new "cousins" the ones not even related to us... fuckin square ass cousins... every year they watered down the feeling of family and togetherness... rather than get together w/ immediate family for the past couple years we've spent it with them... we play whack ass christmas gift exchange games n do all that stupid bullshit...

i wish the holidays were like they were before. the abundance of cousins and the aunts n uncles that handed envelopes of cold hard cash... the real gift of the season haha... well i guess we cant materialize the holidays, but seriously the lack of family togetherness has really taken its toll over the years.

happy holidays everyone hopefully everyone got what they wanted!